[ welcome |
site-map |
register |
summary |
what-new |
intro |
day-by-day |
navigate |
podium |
library |
cyber ]
Zero Emissions: A good hearty laugh for all involved?
The International Zero Emissions Joke Competition
'CCXXI IZEJC Jubilee Celebration
This is to announce the formal opening of the two hundred twenty first consecutive International Zero Emissions Joke Competition. The competition will run through the end of the month of September, to give time for all those interested to gather their wits. You are invited to submit written jokes, graphics, sounds, video, or combinations of the above. You are as well, if you are of the mind, most cordially invited to let us know of your objections to this idea. Just might be that this is in "bad taste". There will be prizes too (though we are not yet sure about accepting one generous offer of frequent flyer milage); for more on them, keep in touch with the What's New page of the conference.
For your instruction and pleasure, the Bicentennial Jubilee editions of the world famous IZEJC
This is your personal invitation to enter the international joke competition based on the immortal phrase: “zero emissions ” -- a ripe subject indeed! We would remind you that 1997 marks the 200th consecutive year of this competition, whose almost exact parallel development through war and peace with the Industrial Revolution has not gone unnoted (though the latter has perhaps made somewhat more progress than the former). Indeed for those of you who were here at the time of our first competition, you will recall that the very first IZEJC I award was given to the always puckish Mr. Adam Smith of Edinburgh for his wry submittal:
To found a great empire for the sole purpose of raising up a people of customers, may at first sight appear a project fit for only a nation of shopkeepers. It is, however, a project altogether fit for a nation of shopkeepers; but extremely fit for a nation that is governed by shopkeepers
That of course is a very old joke and only a mad person would confuse it with the issues and choice of sustainable development in our greatly enlightened times. N'est-ce pas?
IZEJC Competition Categories
This year we intend to award “valuable prizes” (sic.) for those that our Warden considers to be:
- Funniest
- Shaggiest
- Shortest (an objective whose importance we cannot too much emphasize)
- Oldest
- Most puzzling or opaque
- Most refined
- Most righteous (not perhaps the most coveted prize here)
- Furthest out,
- Just plain worst, and
- Best new category (on the assumption that the above is somehow not enough)
The Prizes:
The lot of prizes thus far includes print copies of our End of the Road, Family Mouse Behind the Wheel, two copies of the computer educational game, The Blind Watchmaker, a one year membership in the American Telecommuting Association (includes the ATA Handbook, a year of the newsletter, and access to various services and purchasing discounts,
an electronic T-shirt (for which a design contest is in progress, hopefully with a bit of help, and the awardee left with the challenge of deciding how to wear it), and, we hope, a number of useful tools for zero emission travelers. These last will come from ‘sponsors’ of various sorts, and we are discussing with a broad array of them such appropriate prizes as folding bicycles, roller skates, running/walking shoes, backpacks, umbrellas, big rubber thumbs, books, videoconferencing equipment, hardware and software for home workers, educational games aimed at increasing eco-consciousness and citizen participation, invitations to dinner (eventually from others involved in this small plot).... (If you have prizes to contribute, contact the Warden here.)
Presentation Ceremony:
A formal presentation for the ‘Best of 1997’ will be made toward the end of the year, hopefully at some international conference in which large numbers of worthy experts and bureaucrats have indeed traveled physically to participate. (An unauthorized (by the Warden) trial run competition and presentation took place at the OECD Vancouver Conference in March of last year, and some of the detritus of that event will be fouled in these pages.)
What qualifies:
Anything that "turns 'reality' on its head or on its sid'’ and thus permits us to better understand our somewhat sorry topic. In addition to jokes, aphorisms, stories, or proposed slogans for Z/E campaigns, please do not forget that cartoons, graphic images, mock-up advertisements, and even alternative names for Z/E could do quite nicely here.
Attribution:
We ask that all contributions be signed, though we will certainly be pleased to respect anonymity for those in particular who feel that this exceptional bout of humor and possibly bad judgment on their part might be unfairly penalized by employer, spouse or main credit card. If you wish, you can tell the Warden which category you think might be most appropriate for your effort.
After the Joke:
All submitted jokes (after a bit of weeding to eliminate unhelpful purulent matter, deadbeat racism, old style sex-bashing, neo-Nazi style brutality, etc., but not political in-correctness) will be posted, perhaps as their number mushrooms by some sort of category. They themselves then can become the subject of comment, discussion and, heaven forbid!, counter-jokes. Thus those who submit, must also submit.
The Real Prizes:
Insight gained. Sense of community. New friendships. And the understanding that the real sustainable transport joke is, up to now at least, on ourselves -- and that we had all better begin to ‘get it’ or it will surely not be quite that funny.
The Wardenship:
Because of the potential for unseemly behavior in this particular section, it has been deemed by the powers that be that it will be appropriate to appoint some firm, responsible (and, ideally in this case, quite humorless) individual to serve as the Warden for this undertaking. (It was the Committee’s first impression that an Englishman might do quite nicely here, but as an equal opportunity employer we are obliged to remain open to all candidates.) Please contact us if you are interested in taking on this very important if arduous function or if you have a prime candidate. (Which is, as you can well imagine, its own reward).
And Now From Here:
Formal submittal procedure
Joke Repository: Posted Jokes and Stories
Press Release: Joint 1997 IZEJC CCXXI/Darwin Award Ceremony
... Preferred International Conference Transportation